As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.

He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place.

He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be.

He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him-he's done this many times before.

His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible. As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you.

After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.

You smile and thank your dentist. After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.

Naughty, Naughty!

Excuse me, What were you thinkin'?

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.

Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, Tell me, April, 'who created the universe?'

When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. 'GOD ALMIGHTY!' shouted April and the teacher said, 'Very good' and April fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked April, Who is our Lord and Saviour, But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!' shouted April and the teacher said, 'very good,' and April fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked April a third question. 'What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, 'IF YOU STICK THAT F-----G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!'

The Teacher fainted.